Benedictions

A couple of weeks ago I was having a particularly tough day being a mom when I read my devotion titled Benedictions. Truth be told I didn’t know the word and if I had ever heard it I don’t remember.

The word Benediction is meant to describe a spoken blessing. In my devo it was using the word to describe the perspective of how we as mothers (and fathers!) should look upon parenthood.

Let me rewind a little. So this tough day I’m talking about included among other things a toddler who wouldn’t listen, a dinner that needed to be made, dishes that needed to be done, a toddler now in time out for not listening,  and toys all over the living room. Mostly normal in our house but I was exhausted that day. My patience as a person had run out and so my patience as a  mom had run out.

I’m normally one to look for the good in everything but it gets clouded often these days by the stress and business of life. And I’m the one at fault for letting life cloud my sight.

Instead I should know that I am blessed.

25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.   – James 1:25

It says it as plain as day right there. We will be blessed in what we do.

In every aspect of parenthood remember to find the benediction (spoken blessing). Silence the frustrations and listen for the benediction because it is there. Moms and dads, don’t let life and parenthood cloud your sight. You are not suffering in your journey you are blessed in all of it!

With love,

Mackenzie

Fear

Fear. Its a big scary word for me even though I hide it pretty well. But like most I’m sure we all have things we keep well hidden. Truly I’ve only ever had one fear that is not too uncommon but during this second pregnancy I have found myself uncovering one fear after another. One, I believe a lot of woman have feared and even more woman have actually gone through, the other is not in the same boat exactly.

Lets start with what I consider the less likely fear. Zika Virus….yea you weren’t expecting that at all I’m sure. Well the very not well known virus can be detrimental to the health of an unborn baby and when I found out I was pregnant I just so happened to be in Mexico…..

You know when you go to the doctor and you get the “Have you been out of the country in the last year?” line. I was that person who had been out of the country, the reason they even ask the question, the person the virus can truly effect (pregnant). Thankfully I tested negative for the virus but Phillip (my husband) didn’t get tested and it can be transmitted and apparently lives up to 9 months in the body. Perfect. While it (Zika) may seem irrational to some, the fear of your child being born sick, or underdeveloped is a very scary thought. This isn’t something they can test the baby for before being born, this isn’t something they can even detect on an ultrasound. But all the same we see a specialist just in case they spot something, and all the same during every visit they give us the “we don’t see anything wrong but there is no way to tell and the knowledge on this virus is changing constantly so we cant be sure.”  Not very reassuring is it?

Moving on to the fear I fear the most….Depression. Specifically post partum depression. A subject I know nothing about but have only read the terror it causes to those who have been through it. When I was pregnant with Brady I don’t think I gave that subject a second thought but this time around I cant seem to get it out of my head. I am truly terrified that I will suffer from post partum depression. And even worse – that I wont come away from it like I read so many other moms doing. I am terrified I will let it eat me away until I am nothing.

…..I haven’t quite mastered how to handle these fears but I take it one day at a time. I remember Gods promise that He is always with me and He will always uphold me. He is my God and because of that I will remain strong and courageous in the sight of fear.

I know I am not the first to have fears (pregnant or otherwise) and I certainly wont be the last and neither will any of you. Please remember that. Because your not alone in your journey, or in your fears. Share them, pray about them and then overcome them. I wont let mine get the best of me and hope you wont either.

With Love,

Mackenzie

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

 

The Impact Of A Mother

Moms have a hard job. Well more like hard job’s. When God created us he created us strong enough to give birth, but gentle enough to love (endlessly) the babies we are blessed with. With all that said having a day to reflect on the amazing woman in our lives brings me to this…

This year will be my second year celebrating mothers day as a mom and I couldn’t be more blessed to have that and to be adding another blessing to that mix. But for some, mothers day is a struggle. My own mother passed away when I was only 5 so in a big way I don’t look forward to mothers day but I was beyond blessed to grow up with many motherly figures in my life who I want to shine a little light on today.

First my older sister. She was also very young when our mom passed but I clearly remember her stepping up in a big way to help take care of me and my even younger sister. And she’s done that her whole life. Always there to teach like a mom and taunt like a sister.  with out her strength I don’t think I would be who I am today. If we weren’t sisters I pray we would be friends because I cant imagine a life with out her.

Second my Aunts (and uncles). They took us in, fed us, taught us, loved us and always let us know they were there if we needed. If we had not had family to go to then the possibilities that my sisters and I could have been separated and sentenced to a life in foster care could have been very high. I cant thank my family enough for stepping up for us in such a big way.

And finally (although there are a list of woman I could keep thinking of), my “step” mom. I say “step” mom because although that is her title she is so much more than a “step” anything. This woman had children of her own but when she began dating and eventually married my father she took me and my two sisters in with no hesitation. By this time we were older and more stubborn in our ways but she never gave up to teach us what is most important in life. This amazing woman loves deeply and would give the stranger on the street the shirt from her own back if they needed it. With out her I don’t believe I would know how to stand up for myself, how to apologize when I was wrong and I certainly wouldn’t know how to let loose and have a good time! She is so very strong in who she is and doesn’t let anyone try and change her. I can only hope that she knows the impact she has made on my life and I’m sure countless others.

Moms play an important role but if you don’t have one, I can only pray your life is filled with woman like the ones from my life who will mold you into amazing people. Life is hard and scary, and only gets harder and scarier when you have sweet babes that you worry about 24/7. Whether they are biological children, “step” children, adopted children, or family you have taken in to your care. During the absolute hardest of days being a mom (because of my own lack of patience), I am secure in myself because I am the mom I am because of the woman who raised me.

Moms– don’t ever doubt yourself, no one really knows what they are doing so rest assured your doing an amazing job with the role you’ve been blessed with. If you do ever feel weary think of the things you learned from the woman who raised you and reach out to the woman that surround you. And remember, you are always surrounded by the love of God, and trust me he does not make mistakes and didn’t when he made you a Mom. I hope all the moms out there have a blessed mothers day and truly know how appreciated and loved they are and how much of an impact you have on the babies you are raising.

With love (and Happy Mothers Day),

Mackenzie

30 weeks